9 Questions To Ask About Managing Emotions
Aristotle once said that anyone can get angry. However, getting angry at the right person, to the right degree, at the right time and for the right purpose is more difficult. This article is about emotional intelligence. We discuss the complexities of dealing with emotions and other concerns associated with them.
But do we actually know what emotional intelligence is? We want to clarify the concept and also share some reflections on this topic. Read on to learn more about how to deal with emotions.
1. What is Emotional Intelligence?
Does being emotionally intelligent mean that you are motivated to do everything, are confident and extremely optimistic? The answer is no. According to some, being emotionally intelligent means having a diverse repertoire of traits.
For years we have been told about the importance of developing self-confidence, emotional intelligence and our self-image. Today we know that there are many skills we need to work towards. However, we often don’t know how to approach this or how these skills are linked.
This is due to the fact that when others speak of emotional intelligence, they often mean a capacity (as Salovey and Mayer have put it). It is also widely spoken of as a set of traits or qualities that we should strive for. Examples include character traits, motivation, and emotional traits (which Daniel Goleman talked about).
2. What are the implications of considering emotional intelligence as a set of traits?
Question 1 has the disadvantage of forcing a person to be a ‘totally emotional’ being. Emotional skills are not distinguished from empathy, perseverance, optimism or motivation.
This perspective allows us to describe humans in a global way. Yes, everything is connected, but can we say we are a certain kind of person because of how we deal with emotions? Do we want others to think that of us? Of course not, and that’s the first thing that leads to confusion.
Understanding this can prevent us from getting advice to become more emotionally intelligent without actually being able to internalize the ideas. It is important to be able to integrate these insights, to make it part of our lives so that we can achieve emotional stability.
It seems that the description of emotional intelligence by Salovey and Mayer is more helpful. According to them it is:
“… the ability to process complicated information about our own and others’ emotions, and the capacity to use this information as a guide to thoughts and behavior. That is, individuals who have high emotional intelligence pay attention to, use, and control emotions. These skills serve adaptive functions that help themselves and others. “
3. Why has this term only now become known?
Society is slowly waking up , thanks to the researchers, trainers and media who have drawn attention to emotional intelligence. This has reached the whole world and is important for a society that has traditionally been used to punishing emotions.
In general, we think that our feelings make us less effective, weaker, and less energetic. We feel abducted by the meaning of the word because we are aware that there is no moral superiority or reasonableness in relation to emotions. That division is fictitious, because we cannot distinguish emotions, thoughts and feelings.
4. What role do our emotions play in everyday life?
Emotions play an essential role. We cannot imagine our daily life without feelings or emotions. From the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed, we are driven by emotions. Even our dreams trigger certain feelings in us.
We feel as we think, and every situation produces a certain emotion. This undoubtedly influences what we project onto others, what decisions we make and which path we choose.
5. What mistakes do we make?
We often reject negative emotions because they are painful or uncomfortable. By rejecting, we don’t just mean ignoring, but also punishing others when they have these emotions. A notable example is when a child has a tantrum. We often say things like “don’t cry” or “it’s not that bad.” With this we send the message that strong people do not cry or feel broken.
6. Are sadness and anger healthy?
Absolute. This is a shocking fact, but we must realize that negative emotions such as sadness and anger are not unreasonable. They actually present themselves in us for a purpose.
It is unhealthy not to allow our feelings. Every emotion has something to tell us, and we cannot hide it. To explain this, here’s an example: someone who is allergic to dust would never sweep the dust under the rug and believe it wouldn’t affect him. Dealing with emotions also means allowing them into our lives.
7. What are the consequences of not understanding our emotions?
If we ignore the information our emotions give us, we will make mistakes in our decisions and considerations. We will not know ourselves, reject, oppress and even punish ourselves.
Emotions are always present and the more appropriate our strategies are, the more active and decisive we become. Our well-being depends on our psychological and physical health.
8. What role do emotions play in the workplace?
The professional world is changing. We are not only appreciated for how ‘smart’ we are, but also how academic. Our education and experience also play a role. However, it is very important to consider how we relate to ourselves and others.
How we deal with our own and others’ emotions influences our performance. This is what Goleman, the father of emotional intelligence, calls “wearable skills.” Emotional intelligence predicts success in the workplace more accurately than what we normally think of as “intelligence.” It determines how flexible we are in the workplace.
9. How can we learn to deal with emotions better?
We still have a lot to learn. Among other things , children and young people do not yet receive proper emotional information in schools . To create a true revolution, adults also need to relearn how to understand and deal with their emotions. That is why the way we deal with emotions in society, for example in the media or in advertisements, is so important.
