Hidden Anger: Emotion That Changes Personality

Hidden anger, that anger we feel but keep to ourselves, can change our personality. The disappointments we experience, the failures, the damage suffered, the illusions lost, and every event that comes our way leaves a trail.

What we sometimes fail to realize is that said experiences often translate into anger. If we don’t properly deal with these internal realities, we always carry the weight of the discomfort on our shoulders.

Not many people are familiar with anger and the way it arises. We often associate it with outbursts, where our mean side comes out, where we end up saying or doing things we don’t mean and regret later.

Something remarkable is that in many cases we bury that anger in ourselves. Instead of expressing it, we decide to hide it. There is also a quantitative aspect to this emotion: the more it builds up, the more psychological discomfort it causes.

An excess of anger doesn’t always translate into an irritated facial expression, someone pushing people, yelling at them, or reacting in an inappropriate way. This emotion causes anxiety, fatigue, low mood and, in many cases, major depressive disorder.

Hidden anger: the camouflaged emotion we forget to control

While we may find it shocking, people can live their entire lives with hidden anger. Neglect or abuse can lead to this. Anger is nothing but the coexistence of different emotions. It leads to sadness, the feeling of injustice and often also to fear.

Fear of certain things coming back or irrational fear of feeling vulnerable again. All these emotions are part of anger, a formless and enduring malaise that occupies everything and at the same time clouds everything.

Anger, anger, irritability, aggressiveness, tension, loss of control… All these emotions come to mind when we think of anger. It is not wrong to relate it to these terms, but the truth is that people do not always react this way when they experience this emotion.

dr. Thomas Denson of the University of Michigan explained in a study that we can feel anger in different ways. While some people choose to express it, others decide to keep it quiet and carry it around in a camouflaged way.

Feeling this way for an extended period of time can definitely make a huge dent in your personality.

What are the characteristics of a person with hidden anger?

Experiencing emotional failures. Having someone special to betray us. Failure to achieve an important goal. All of these realities are examples of why some people keep their anger hidden within them.

Here are the signs these people usually show:

• distrust, difficulty trusting those around them
• sarcastic, cynical behavior and frivolous reactions
• persistent mood swings
• a tendency to procrastinate, difficulty engaging and completing tasks
• irritation
• difficulty enjoying fun moments
• insomnia, nightmares, and waking up in the middle of the night
• physical and mental exhaustion

How do we deal with anger?

Sometimes, when we read books or articles on how to deal with anger, we see that they do not recommend a complete approach. In fact, they’re not talking about hidden anger and how harmful it can be.

Doing relaxation exercises or searching for means of expression is not enough to work on this emotion. We are not saying that these techniques cannot be useful, but they do not solve the problem. Instead, let’s take a closer look at the following ideas:

Vulnerability

To manage hidden anger, it is important to deal with the root of the problem, which in many cases is the feeling of vulnerability. Anger arises when we feel desperate, betrayed, surrounded by injustices, frustrated or angry at something or someone.

Self-esteem

The second step is to work on self-esteem and self-image. Sometimes it’s just not possible to solve the problems that have caused hidden anger in us. That is why it is vital that we work on ourselves and realize our worth, potential and value.

Helpful Thoughts

Hidden anger includes a tendency to worry. Our mind is always focused on what brings us pain and disappointment and on negative experiences from the past. This approach often clouds our judgment and leads to severe psychological exhaustion. We need to keep our internal dialogue healthy to deal with what hurts us.

Focus on healing hidden anger, not feeding it

Anger is a fire that feeds our thoughts daily. We intensify it with rigidity, procrastination, and with a rigid mental approach anchored in the past. If we really want to restore and heal our hidden anger, we need to lift that anchor and give ourselves a chance to move forward.

Moreover, moving forward is only possible if we set reasonable goals and work hard at them, stop being afraid to leave our comfort zone, put ourselves in new situations and befriend people who bring joy to our lives.

Sometimes it is necessary to start all over again in every possible way to get rid of the weight that left us unable to breathe.