Missing Is More Than Just Remembering
Missing someone is one of the most painful feelings you can ever experience. It goes beyond just remembering the good time you had with that person. Even though he is no longer a part of your life and it has been a long time since he left your life, the memory of him still haunts you day and night.
When you miss someone so much it hurts
There are many examples of people we could miss: a childhood sweetheart, a close friend, a grandparent who passed away long ago, the happy times we spent with our family during childhood…
We don’t want to miss people, yet it happens to us, we can’t control it and it hurts a lot. More than just their absence, we feel something pressing on our chest and making us burst into tears. It is an empty space that we cannot fill.
If you love someone dearly, if you’ve been genuinely happy with them, then the fact that they’re gone is definitely a reason to be sad. At first this is understandable, but at some point you should move on with your life.
Missing is more than just remembering and it is much more than suffering. Because remembering that teacher or that journey you took is one thing, but missing someone is much more. Missing someone is like revisiting the empty space left over after you left. And it is so incredibly difficult to fill this space again!
Missing someone is hard to explain
We looked for a definition of ‘miss’ in the dictionary, hoping it would help us. It is a transitive verb meaning ‘to notice the absence of something that used to be there and which has been replaced by something else’. Based on this definition, we can draw some conclusions.
Missing thus includes a lack of something that was often ‘used’. Applying that definition to feelings, we can say we miss someone if we no longer see someone we used to see constantly and loved dearly.
Second, the definition states that what we lack has now been replaced by something else. If you suffer, it is because you have not been able to replace what you lack. In fact, the place it once occupied is now nothing more than an empty space that cannot be filled.
Missing or remembering?
We now know roughly what the definition of ‘missing’ is, but to complete the puzzle we also need the definition of ‘remembering’, or ‘remembering’. We turned again to the dictionary and saw that remembering is described as ‘recalling something that has been observed, learned or known. Holding something in the mind.’
What can we deduce from this? That memories reside in the brain. That is, they are not related to feelings, and if they were, we would not become sad or cry. In short, missing someone is longing for them and the time you spent together.
At the same time, to remember is to bring to mind these beautiful scenes, without however longing for and without nostalgia. In other words, we think back to something without experiencing the feelings that were experienced at the time. Of course it’s hard to get the emotions out of a memory; we are not machines or robots. But it’s often worth a try so you can avoid the depression, crying, or even hatred it might evoke.
If you want to avoid missing someone every time you think about them, it might be good to put those thoughts as far away as possible. For example, you do this by not doing things that remind you of his face, the words he said or the moments you shared together. In time you will see that the memories will no longer hurt and even if you miss that person, the empty space he left behind will not stop you from moving forward.
