Major Obstacles In The Beginning Of A Relationship
In any relationship, especially in the beginning, there are several obstacles that you will have to overcome. This is inevitable and quite common, as you are getting to know the person well and trying to put your puzzle pieces together with the other person’s.
You will have to deal with a number of problems in your dealings with each other. Your expectations will slowly shatter and you will see reality emerge. This can lead to a lot of frustration if you’ve idealized the other person too much .
In general, these obstacles result in getting to know that other person better and the challenges that are overcome will ultimately form the foundation of your relationship. Because this is a process of adaptation, you will have to accept the complications for what they are and in some cases you will have to arm yourself with a lot of patience to overcome them. This is simply part of the process of discovering and rediscovering your partner.
Learning to communicate
Communicating, and doing it well, is one of the main challenges partners face, especially early in the relationship, when they have not yet formed a shared dynamic. To communicate healthily, you must learn to express your needs.
Someone who’s been with you for a long time has probably become an expert at interpreting your non-verbal language, but you’ll probably make things a little easier for a new partner by communicating openly, rather than being cryptic.
Communication can often be compromised by miscommunication and by quick, almost automatic interpretations. To overcome these, it is good to ask questions before interpreting what is being said and especially to learn to listen to what is being said to you.
Learning to communicate in a relationship is a challenge that you will have to overcome sooner or later. If you don’t learn to communicate, the relationship is doomed to fail. Communication is a mainstay for a well-functioning relationship and therefore it should not be neglected.
Adapt to reality
Idealization is strongly related to falling in love. It is inevitable that you will focus more on the good aspects of your partner in the beginning of the relationship. However, it is important to try to keep both feet on the ground so that your expectations do not get too far removed from reality.
It is important to know that while your partner has many positive aspects, he will also have many traits that you don’t like very much. Ultimately, true love is found in acceptance, when you are willing to see the person for who he really is, without wanting to change him.
Trying to fill the void
Your partner is not there to meet your expectations, nor is he there to fill your void inside. Being with someone to make you feel less alone and forget about previous experiences with other partners is the first row to the wrong dock. You will have to fill your own voids, even if others can contribute to make them more or less substantive.
You may not be completely satisfied with yourself, but you can’t expect your partner to resolve the conflict and give you the peace and security you need in your life. No one but you can do the work that needs to be done to resolve your inner conflicts, not even your partner.
A healthy relationship involves being with the other person to share who you are, not to fill an empty space. If you run away from loneliness, you make the mistake of not learning how to be yourself.
