Second Chances: An Option Only For Some Couples

You probably know that one couple who broke up and got back together more than once. They try, but in the end the second chances they give it don’t seem to work. These second chances turn into third, fourth and fifth chances until they refuse to try again. Maybe trying again isn’t an option for them.

Giving second chances isn’t an alternative that works for every couple,  because sometimes there’s too much tension built up, unresolved issues and other circumstances that, no matter how much effort we put in, can’t be saved.

Often it works very well to give the relationship another chance and can even improve the relationship,  but this is because the two people know how to grow and how to take advantage of the time they spend alone. Not every couple does this and this is why it is very common that the relationship doesn’t work the same way afterwards.

Second chances often don’t work

Why do second chances often not work? For one simple reason:  Two people get back together for the wrong reasons. Often it is the need to fill the void they feel after so many years of sharing life with each other. All this means that they can suffer from emotional dependence, a problem that affects many people today.

If you go back to your partner for the wrong reasons, it’s impossible for the relationship to work. You gave each other another chance because you felt lonely,  because you thought it impossible to get on with your life after leaving them, because you couldn’t tolerate the grief or get over the breakup.

You miss your partner because you are not able to be alone and this is something negative. The problem that led you to end the relationship will still be there, and at some point it will come to the fore and put you back into a toxic relationship where you will be anything but happy.

You need your partner because you fear loneliness and that empty feeling that overwhelms you when you stretch your arms to the other side of the bed and no one is there, when you lift the shopping bags into the house but no one is there to hold you helps, when no one is there to kiss you on the mouth.

Perhaps putting your own happiness in the hands of your partner was the biggest mistake you ever made and you are now paying the price for it. You are unable to live a life alone or see beyond your relationship. You think that without that person your life has no future or any hope of moving forward. What you don’t know is that you can be happy with only yourself. In addition, it is actually necessary to  spend time with yourself.

Soulmates don’t exist

When couples give each other a second chance again and it works, it’s because they knew exactly how to enjoy the time they spent apart. They also took advantage of the opportunity to reflect, to see everything from a different perspective and to really think things through so they wouldn’t make the wrong decision.

These kind of couples know that they are partners for life, but also that they are individuals and that their happiness does not depend on the other person,  but more on themselves. This is why they are not afraid to be alone. They choose to share their life with the other person, but they do not allow the other person to become their life breath.

However, many people are still convinced that everyone has a soul mate, which makes them afraid to enter into relationships. We often believe that we are in love when in reality we just want someone by our side.

But  second chances also depend on prior issues that led to the breakup. For example, imagine if infidelity was the reason why the relationship broke down. If the person who was cheated cannot get over this terrible betrayal, then trying again is simply a waste of their time. Without being aware of it, he would blame his partner for certain things, he would not trust his partner and he would start to doubt everything. This wouldn’t be good for anyone.

For this reason  , before you give each other another chance, it is important to solve your problems not only as a couple but also as individuals. In this way you can restart the relationship without blame and with the realization that you are independent people and that you are not together because you do not know how to be alone. Only in this way will a second chance have a chance of success.