It’s Not The Days We Remember; It’s The Moments

Memory is not just an intellectual function. A person’s memory is not the same as a computer’s memory: it is not data that is stored, but experiences. This means that we remember visual images: words, but also smells, tastes and sensations.

We could say that a person’s memory is an affective function. The information and experiences we remember almost never match objective data. Human memory is creative and as a result suppresses or adds elements to these memories, depending on the feelings involved.

There are even times when we remember things that didn’t happen at all. This is especially the case with childhood memories. A fantasy has become so intense that it has become part of our memories, without actually happening.

The experiences we remember

Memory is actually able to store everything we experience during our lifetime, but we can only remember some of these things, the others are in our subconscious.

According to a study conducted in Canada,  our earliest memories are being erased to make way for new ones. In addition, we don’t have those early memories, because during that stage some of the most profound experiences of our psyche take place. These are eventually suppressed, as they can eventually become unbearable to our consciousness.

Nevertheless  , we retain many of our memories and these appear in our consciousness as an isolated sensation that is very deep at the same time. For example, hearing a melody can trigger an emotion that takes us back to the past, but we can’t remember exactly what the date was or what the occasion was.

In general we can say that  what we consciously remember is that which required a lot of attention or concentration and which contained content that we understood. They are both positive and negative situations, but always fairly important things that do not contain emotionally confusing or contradictory content.

We remember less ordinary things better

These situations that capture our full attention usually consist of a series of components. Mental concentration, our senses alert, a strong associating feeling, and a few elements of surprise or novelty associated with the three previous components. This is why it is quite simple to remember less common things, while forgetting the things that are routine more quickly.

We consciously remember the moments that in some way require our full attention and that have an emotional impact on us. Those moments also need to be fully understandable before they get stuck in our consciousness. Otherwise they are generally suppressed.

The unforgettable moments

What is not forgotten is that which forces us to experience a situation in the present.  The moments when you feel like you are one with the universe, where there is nothing more than what you have around you, and you feel like the world ends and begins right where you are. This applies to both good memories and terrible memories. 

It’s the moments when you feel your life pulsing under your skin. It doesn’t matter whether it is day or night, whether it is hot or cold. All that matters is that you feel like you are the main character of a story and at the same time you feel eternal.

These moments are so impressive that even years later we can still bring them out with a single emotion. There are relics with enough intensity that you can relive the moment almost all over again.

Depending on the experiences that came before or after that moment, the memory can be very precise or less precise. If positive things happened after a negative experience, the negative becomes less painful and you may even manage to laugh about it. If further difficult situations arose after that, it may be that aversion arises.

If what we experienced was positive, but negative moments followed, we will remember it with nostalgia. If what came after were more pleasant times, the memory of the emotion can be very intense and satisfying.

This is how memory is: creative and flexible. Like a sponge absorbing these unique and irreplaceable moments that have made a difference in our lives. Like a beautiful album full of photos that we go through when our hearts need it. We realize that they are not the days we remember. It’s the moments.