Choose To Live Without Pain
If you’ve been through a lot of frustrating relationships, you may have come to the conclusion that love hurts more than it should and more than we deserve. Love makes us happy, but if it doesn’t work out and we don’t meet the right person, we can also suffer a lot.
Infidelity, dependence, jealousy… All of this makes love an agony. Are we perhaps expecting too much from a loved one? Why does love turn to pain? Today I want to choose love without pain, but how?
Do we learn to suffer for love?
Of course you never thought about it, but what if for some reason we learned to suffer for love? Unconsciously and unintentionally. Sometimes we don’t realize how much we have been conditioned since childhood to think and react the way we do. If we were born somewhere else, we would probably be very different.
So, what if you were born in a place where it is allowed for a man to have multiple wives? What would jealousy be then? Our culture teaches us that love is beautiful, that it makes us happy, and that if we don’t have it, we can’t be happy. We’ve also been taught to believe that arguments undermine our relationships, that jealousy can destroy trust, and that infidelity hurts us and makes us feel betrayed.
These are some of the things you have to face when you are in a relationship. Because, interestingly enough, when we have a partner we see it as our possession. We expect a lot from him and anything not within that expectation (such as infidelity) will disappoint us.
It’s true that every relationship is based on trust, but you have to be realistic. There will be many people who will disappoint you because they will destroy the trust you had in them…
Don’t let love hurt anymore!
Almost all of us have the same idea of a happy couple. This includes everything we mentioned above: there is no infidelity, you can overcome all the grind and so on. We should be happy in love, but not suffer from it. How can you free yourself from this suffering?
- Don’t give up your independence and individuality for the relationship; protect yourself.
- Always be yourself, don’t let anyone change you.
- You have a partner to make you happy, not to make you sad.
- Don’t commit to someone without knowing them well.
- Respect personal space, be independent!
These are just a few things to keep in mind so as not to suffer for love. Respect your friendship, spend time with yourself. There is no need to be together all the time as it can damage the relationship in the long run.
At the same time, there are people who are willing to give everything for the person they love. But be careful with that! Sure, you want to give everything to someone you love, but are you sure he or she won’t hurt you? When you love someone, you become vulnerable. If the other person wanted to hurt you, they can, perhaps without realizing it. You unwittingly give him or her the power to destroy you.
It’s nice to love someone, but sometimes a relationship makes us even more unhappy than being alone. Think about how happy a relationship makes you and what you could change to fully enjoy a relationship. You don’t deserve to suffer for love.
Love must be experienced with passion, pleasure, love and trust… Pain does not fit with this. Why do you force yourself to suffer for love?
–Images of Pascal Campion and Miho Hirano–
