Casual Encounters Are Beautiful, But Connecting Is Magical

Casual encounters are easy. They occur on an assembly line. But connecting is really magical. Two hearts and minds touch and we feel our worlds become in sync. How we both see whole galaxies where other people see ordinary puddles, or how we laugh at the same time and for the same reason.

Many people like fantasy and science fiction . But we fail to see that  life itself is much more incredible, magical, and even stranger. What factors play into that connection between two strangers who happen to be in the right place at the right time and eventually become attracted to each other?

In this case, we’re not just talking about the process of falling in love,  but we’re also talking about the great set of circumstances that build the most solid friendships.

Those do not think of time or distance, but rather of understanding, special bonds and that loving harmony where there is mutual care and genuine affection.

We connect, like atoms, like the moon that attracts the water in the sea and regulates the tides. Maybe that’s what life is: this wonderful connection that we form with certain people throughout our lives, letting it get us where we need to be.

Part of the growing up process where we learn, share, help and are helped and leave an eternal emotional mark on someone else’s heart…

The law of attraction in a friendship

Elena and Sara met at school. In one of their mass communication classes , the professor played a video of  Monty Python  , which made the whole class laugh. For a few seconds, that’s normal.

However, when the rest of the class fell silent and focused on their work, Sara kept laughing and couldn’t stop. When Elena heard her she couldn’t help but laugh out loud. That moment marked the beginning of their friendship. A great friendship.

When it comes to emotional relationships, or even friendship, research seems to go much deeper into the benefits these bonds bring than their cause: the underlying process that drives this sudden, but always final, “magic connection.” shapes. Before we go any further we need to keep something in mind. It may sound weird…

Friendship involves hidden processes that are much more complex than the processes that determine the simple fact of attraction in a romantic relationship. There are laws and psychological dynamics and these are very interesting.

Self-disclosure

The most authentic friendships are not based on just a set of shared interests,  on having the same values ​​and preferences. In fact, not getting along determines the strength and significance of a friendship.

Experts in social psychology know that there is one point that determines whether or not a friendship will last. We are talking about self disclosure . We need to share our own worries,  fears and insecurities with other people in order to help us, to feel the intimacy and understanding that are so therapeutic.

When we share a secret with someone and they are able to keep it to themselves, protect it and offer us their support, then the magic begins. And when the other opens his heart and also shares his secrets, then the magic spreads.

Emotional ‘glue’ and the law of the mirror

Once we are sure that we can trust that person,  we still need other processes to consolidate this powerful union that was born out of a coincidence. We’re talking about “emotional gifts,” such as loyalty, caring, unconditional support, appreciation, sincerity, and the ability to help us grow.

In addition, there is an even more interesting idea put forward by social psychologists Carolyn Weisz and Lisa F. Wood, of the University of Puget Sound, in Tacomo, Washington (US). It’s the mirror-mirror theory, or the law of the mirror. This theory is as simple as it is important.

Connecting with someone means that you have come across a person who fits your identity,  someone who will often act as a reflection or balance element, our personal center.

For example, a close friend will be able to tell us that the choice we made or the person we fell for doesn’t fit who we are, or that they’re turning us into someone we’re not ( they put us at a distance of our own reflection ).

‘Connecting’ with special people is something our brain needs

Some people may call it a sixth sense, but often our brain already knows who to “connect”  with, who to meet to drown ourselves in coffee and paint hope in the steam of hot chocolate, and who best to avoid, closing the door to protect ourselves from a selfish friendship.

Our brain benefits from solid and lasting friendships for one very concrete reason: they help us survive and give purpose to our daily lives. This bond that gives us satisfaction is stronger than any medicine. It’s like a shot of dopamine or serotonin: happiness.

Allow chance encounters to carry you away, let life begin magically by connecting with these special people  who make life a more beautiful, warmer and more interesting place.