How Can You Control Stressful Situations?

Learning how to control stressful situations is almost a survival strategy. Mathematician John Lubbock used to say that a day of worry is more tiring than a week of work, and it is true. The mental energy you use during that time overwhelms you with enormous pressure, fear and anxiety.

You also need to keep something very important in mind. The ability to control and cope with stressful situations varies greatly from person to person. Some people process their reality in a positive way. They keep a realistic outlook on life. Therefore, they are more resistant to any challenge. They may even find opportunities for growth in those challenges.

Others, on the other hand, worry about everything. So what causes great stress for some may be a simple situation for someone else that causes them absolutely no stress or anxiety. It all depends on your previous experiences and some psychological resources. Even if you haven’t installed them in the ‘factory’ yet, you can learn them and make them your own.

Albert Ellis showed in his well-known book How to Control Anxiety Before it Controls You that stress and anxiety are to some extent not exempt from also having positive sides. They let you know that you need to change certain things. So if you dare to do this, you will improve your well-being.

The key to managing stressful situations

You know it’s not easy to control a stressful situation. But what does it actually mean when you say something is “stressful”?

While stress depends on how you look at it, some situations are stressful for everyone. Having surgery, solving legal problems, or even taking on new projects are enough to make most people feel under pressure.

For example, if you know how a patient can deal with it, two factors are very important:

• How they experience a complex situation (first edition)
• The interpretation they give to their ability to cope with a stressful situation (secondary evaluation).

Ideally, they should both be healthy. If you can see a solution to the challenge as within reach, then you have the resources to tackle it. Let’s take a look at some resources you should use to manage stressful situations.

It’s not about making stress go away, it’s about dealing with it

You cannot live without fear and stress. These mechanisms have ensured human survival, generated progress, and acted in conjunction with emotions and behavior in a way that enabled major changes. Therefore, there are some things you should know about stressful situations:

• Stress is to your advantage. It helps you to learn new adaptive behaviors.
• You don’t have to let stress go away, you just need to control and regulate it.
• To regulate stress, you need to find the strategies that best suit your needs and personality. This process takes time and requires dedication.

There are three concrete dimensions when it comes to managing stressful situations.

Evaluation-oriented strategies: a key to managing stressful situations

How do you see the challenge, problem or complicated situation you have before you? From the moment you label these situations, your thoughts, emotions and behaviors determine the outcome. So thoughts like “this is too much,”   “this is terrible,” “it’s impossible,” or “this is a disaster” will eventually amplify your anxiety and stress.

You need to pay attention to how you see the situation in front of you. This doesn’t mean you have to be cheerfully positive or dramatic about it. Instead, try to think along these lines:

• “I understand it’s normal to feel stressed. I’m going to work on it.”
• “This situation is difficult, I know that. It may not go my way, but I’m going to learn it step by step.”

Emotionally Focused Strategies

As you know, the emotional plane is very important when it comes to managing stressful situations. Your emotions can give you wings to fly during a stressful event or they can keep you in a corner of fear and denial. So it is essential to gain as much control as possible over your internal universe so that things work in your favor.

How? Here are the keys:

• Identify the emotions you feel.
• Rationalize. Find out which irrational thoughts feed those emotions.
• Practice breathing and relaxation exercises. Exercises such as mindfulness can help you.

Problem-Based Strategies

You have learned the importance of realistically evaluating a problem and avoiding thoughts that bring you down or cause anxiety. You also know that you need to control your emotions to make things go your way. So what else is there to learn about managing stressful situations?

Having a plan is perhaps the most relevant strategy:

• Develop strategies that allow you to tackle the problem in the best possible way.
• Create your own ‘survival kit’ so that you are prepared for anything that can happen.

• If you’re stressed about a job interview, prepare. Is it a doctor’s appointment? Then do a relaxation exercise and visualize any situation that may arise. However, if you are stressed about a business deal, for example, train yourself to learn communication techniques.

In short, there will be many stressful situations in your life. It is normal to be afraid, but the key to overcoming them is to act, even if you are afraid. This will help you get through any situation.