Five Tips For Courting In The 21st Century

Courtship is an old-fashioned term. Still, it’s important to master the art of flirting, pursuing a romantic goal, or bonding with someone else when we feel the need to find a mate, whether for a casual relationship. or to find someone with whom we can build a future.

This may seem a bit silly, but when you possess certain qualities that can help you build an intimate relationship with someone, it can really turn you into a real ‘Don Juan’. However, the problem is that we miss many opportunities or are unable to take the necessary steps to get to know someone.

Waiting to take the first step?

It seems like we’re always waiting for someone else to take the first step. It may not even be the first step; maybe we wait for our boyfriend or girlfriend to say that he/she wants a committed relationship or maybe wants to live together. Sometimes it’s just that this potential relationship begins to languish because we wait so long and we end up being left alone.

This tends to happen more often to women, probably because of their upbringing and the super romantic and chauvinistic ideas that society has put in their heads throughout their lives.

In the past, and sometimes even today, the idea of ​​the woman taking the first step was not very well received. It was the man who was supposed to play the part of the suitor and win over the woman. Should a woman go after a man, she would be described in a variety of ways, and none of these descriptions could be taken positively. Today, women are no longer oppressed by society in this way, although certain gaps still exist.

Regardless of our gender, we have to follow certain psychological steps in order to flatter someone we really like.

What are the secrets to successfully courting someone?

1. Don’t be afraid of being rejected

Often people are unable to expose themselves to bond with someone because they are afraid that someone will react negatively to them. It is very hurtful to be rejected. It comes as a real blow to our ego and leaves us with an empty feeling inside.

We must realize and be aware that rejection is completely normal because it is simply not possible to please everyone all the time or to be liked by everyone all the time.

We ourselves may think that we are pretty or really nice, but beauty is so subjective that we can be beautiful to one person, while the other doesn’t find us attractive at all. In some cases, our behavior can determine whether or not someone finds us attractive.

So prepare yourself to be rejected. We will probably all experience this at some point in our lives. Don’t worry though! You don’t die from rejection.

2. Have faith in yourself

This point goes hand in hand with the previous point. If you have confidence in yourself, it will be much easier to accept rejections. Plus, you’ll be better able to enjoy relationships that are successful.

Trusting yourself means accepting yourself unconditionally and loving yourself unconditionally, regardless of whether or not someone else does.

On the other hand, it is also important to know that, contrary to what many believe, the physical aspect is actually not that important when you want to build a relationship with someone. A person who is physically average, but has a lot of confidence, can attract a lot more people than someone who is super beautiful but at the same time insecure.

We always project what we think onto others. So if you value yourself, like and like yourself, love yourself and take care of yourself, then others will too.

3. Imagine yourself as a door-to-door salesman

Yes, you read that correctly. Imagine that you are trying to sell something to someone and some will buy the product and others will not.

Just like what a door-to-door salesperson experiences on a daily basis, some will be interested in the product you want to sell and others won’t even open the door for you. This is normal and just a matter of statistics. There is always a sales ratio.

In general, it is important not to miss out on the opportunities that arise. In other words: we have to ring the doorbell of every house that looks nice. We have to accept that there is a chance that the door will be opened, but at the same time that there is a chance that the door will remain closed.

4. Touch someone, smile and be a little naughty

Body language is very important and always conveys more than we can pronounce.

Studies show that people who smile often are more attractive and radiate charisma. This also applies to people who have no qualms about touching or being touched, people who touch each other’s backs or lean on someone’s shoulder. For these kind of people it is very natural to build a bond with another person.

On the other hand, it is also important to be a little naughty towards the other person, but always in moderation of course. The right statement at the right time, a smile or a wink lets that other person know that we find them attractive and that we are interested in them.

5. Look for things you have in common

Today, everyone is connected online through social networking pages and it is much easier to say something to someone through a text message without having to look them in the face. This is an advantage and we can use this to connect with someone and build a bond with someone.

Once we’ve made this contact, we should look for a shared interest that can help us create an opportunity to meet. In other words,  by sending messages electronically, we can find an excuse to invite someone to do something with us, which can actually be seen as a big step.

Finally, it is especially important to stay true to yourself, to trust in yourself and to be confident. We will inevitably eventually bond with someone and over time, maybe the pieces will all suddenly fall together.