From Now On I Am My Own Priority

I’ve often felt like I’m not a priority for other people. I’ve even decided not to see it that way and to convince myself otherwise. Sometimes it’s easier to do than to accept that the other person doesn’t think we’re important.

I found that I accepted situations where I was replaced by someone else. I’ve even justified negative behavior like criticism by attributing it to stress or worry. I finally realized that I couldn’t go on like this any longer and that from now on my motto should be “I’m my priority, not someone’s option”.

Being my own priority doesn’t mean I’m selfish

I’ve often heard that my new attitude is negative, but I’ve managed to convince myself that I’m doing the right thing. It’s true that the only people who have complained about it are the people who came to see me when they needed me, only to disappear again.

At first I doubted myself and thought they were right. Later I realized that  there is nothing more rewarding than loving myself, taking care of myself, satisfying myself and doing what I want. Sometimes this means I have to be alone, but that’s not something negative.

I met new people when I became my own priority. You will find that you attract people who show a real interest in you. They won’t spend every day with you because they have their own lives and dreams to fulfill, but they will be there for you when you need them. It pays off to live for yourself and stop putting yourself second.

I’ve accepted that some people just used me

The hardest thing about being your own priority is recognizing that some people are just using you. If they need anything, they come to you. And you feel important, but they are only interested in what they can get from you.

This can sometimes involve family members and people who considered you friends. It hurts because they hold a special place in your heart. The moment I started to see myself as a priority, I got a lot of criticism from them. They tried to do the same. When I started using the word “no” in response to their demands, they only got angry. They did not understand my behavior and I realized that they are a burden in my life.

I finally made space between these people and myself. This is tricky when it comes to a family member as they will always be a part of your life. The difference is that I now say “no” when necessary and I just ignore their complaints.

The importance of recognizing your worth

The main reason I let myself only be an option was my insecurity. I thought I had no qualities that made me important. I was busy criticizing myself and hurting myself, even more than others hurt me.

When I decided that I would be my own priority, I started looking for these qualities.  It wasn’t easy at first, but when I accepted myself, they started to show up. I thought about things that I didn’t think were important at first and remembered them. All this had an avalanche effect. When I discovered a new quality and accepted it, it freed up space for another, and then another.

Don’t think you lack positive qualities. It’s more likely that you’re just not paying attention to who you really are.

I’m my priority and that won’t change

I have to accept that  it’s hard to think about the past without a certain sense of nostalgia. I miss the people who have left my life. Sometimes I want to go back to the way it was, but then I think about how I felt and find that I’m happier now. Of course not everything is perfect, but life is complicated enough without feeling that I am not important to the people around me.

When I realized I was just an option, a lot of people walked away. Some did so with regret, others out of anger. But none of these people have come back to try and talk it out. I think  everyone has a moment in my life and theirs has come to a resolute end. I don’t think there’s any reason to restart these friendships. I don’t want to be anyone’s option for the rest of my life.