How Showing Empathy Improves Our Relationships
When we surrender ourselves completely happily to the precious moments we spend with our loved one, time seems to stop, even though the hands of the clock keep moving. Of course, this does not mean that there are no good or bad days.
But spending time with these people recharges our batteries. Their hugs just flood us with love and our hearts beat with affection when we think of the moments we spent together. These are the people who have a place in our hearts.
They keep us grounded and make us feel alive, loved and needed. Well, what connects them is empathy , and we’re going to discover how showing empathy makes our relationships better.
Surrounding ourselves with people who direct our lives gives us empathy. This empathy is a kind of sensitivity that makes it possible to understand what is going on in us and also in other people.
It also connects us to the world around us. It starts individually and later gives rise to a shared life. Let’s take a closer look at this…
Empathy starts in us
Empathy begins when we get to know ourselves better. We become aware of our own emotions and try to gain self-control.
Besides realizing what emotions we feel in certain situations, we need to learn to control our feelings. If we want to empathize with others, we cannot allow our moods to overwhelm us.
The noted neurologist-psychiatrist Sigmund Freud once said, “No mortal can keep a secret. When his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips. Betrayal seeps from every pore.”
As American psychologist Daniel Goleman noted, we can see empathy as a kind of social radar. The ability to connect with the internal experiences of others means that our relationships are not mechanical.
How showing empathy improves our relationships
Robert Levenson of the University of California studied how different lovers communicate with each other. The couples entering the lab were required to have two types of conversations. One was a neutral conversation (how was your day?) and the other was a disagreement.
As the conversations continued, Levenson and his team observed things like heartbeats and facial expressions. When the couples empathized with each other’s feelings, their bodies imitated each other. Their hearts beat in harmony and their facial expressions were the same.
At times when we show genuine empathy, it is as if we are in an emotional choreography. Believe it or not, this synchronization is the key to success in our relationships.
It’s great to have people in our lives who encourage us, people who understand us just as we understand them. However, we must not forget that empathy starts with ourselves and with exploring our emotions.
