How To Deal With Frustration Positively: 5 Essential Tips
Frustration is one of the worst feelings we have to deal with since childhood. Dealing with frustration is difficult, even though we feel it at a very young age.
The feeling of frustration is an intense feeling and no one teaches our children to channel this emotion. On the other hand , many parents who are concerned about their children’s emotional intelligence may overprotect them. In adulthood, many of us still don’t know how to deal with frustration, and this can harm us.
But what is frustration really?
Frustration is a negative emotion. But, like any emotion, it fulfills a function. Frustration is the result of not getting what we want or expect. It means that there is a difference between what we want and what we have. In other words, the ultimate function of frustration is to focus our attention and make us react.
“Frustration is one of the earliest and most powerful emotions we experience since childhood and one of the most dangerous.”
However, when frustration becomes very powerful or intense, it often fails to fulfill its function. We become more attuned to the discomfort we feel than to what it wants to tell us. So let’s talk about 5 essential tips for dealing with frustration positively.
How to deal with frustration
1. Distance yourself from events
As we mentioned, frustration can be very intense. This can lead you to exaggerate events and see the situation in a distorted way. Dealing positively with frustration therefore means that you distance yourself from the events.
Decisions you have to make are put off and you try to see the situation from a bird’s eye view. If you’re frustrated, look at “the bigger picture” and see everything as an outsider.
Assess and analyze all positive and negative aspects of the frustrating situation. You can also compare it to something worse that happened to you before. Tell yourself that what has happened now is not as bad as what you experienced before. These little “tricks” will distract your mind from events and allow you to view the situation objectively.
2. Feel the frustration and let it go
When an emotion overwhelms you, be it frustration, anger, sadness, or joy, it’s best to feel it and let it go. This means feeling them deeply and then letting them go. The more you try not to feel the frustration, the more you will feel it.
It is the paradox of the human mind. Later on, you can develop obsessive disorders in which you struggle not to think about “X” but end up thinking about “X,” “Y” and “Z” all day long.
The brain works like this: the more you avoid thinking or feeling “something”, the more you feel it. Observing, feeling and letting go is a basic skill that can significantly improve your emotional intelligence.
If you want to feel the emotion and then let it go, train yourself in mindfulness skills or acceptance and commitment techniques. All of these approaches can help you reduce the negative effects of this emotion.
3. Be calm and take action
Frustration is the worst advisor. It usually leads us to behavior that is not correct or helpful, in some cases even self-destructive. However, it is a very powerful emotion with a high proactive effect.
This is because frustration causes us to attack or hurt the object that triggers this emotion. It is an emotion that makes us vengeful rather than forgiving. For this reason, it is important to avoid trading under its effects.
“Dealing with frustration positively means taking a step back from events, postponing decisions you have to make, and trying to get a bird’s eye view of the situation.”
It is very important that you take a moment to calm down if something or someone is frustrating you. Once you feel better, you can start thinking about the next steps to take or make practical decisions.
On the other hand , it is also important to listen to the message of your emotion. What does it want to tell you? Frustration makes you act by making changes in yourself or the way you do things.
4. Dealing with frustration by distinguishing between wants, needs and reality
Distinguishing between what you want, what you need and what can actually happen seems easy. However, it is not.
Often frustration arises because desires are confused with personal needs (“I want my boss to compliment me on the work I did”), protection or acceptance (“I need my boss to appreciate me”), or what really can happen taking into account the circumstances of the moment (reality: “my boss ignores everything, has no time and recognizes nothing”).
In other words, what you want may or may not be what you really need. All this may require things that may be more or less adequate. So, separate what you want (after all, you can want what you want) from what you need. Also separate it from what you could provide for the people around you.
It’s about how you adapt your needs to reality. You may want as much as you want while still knowing you don’t need many of those things. They are just opportunities or challenges.
5. Assess whether you should accept or change your situation.
If you can’t change your frustrating situation, it’s normal for your feelings to intensify. When there is no room left to manage the situation, acceptance is key. Below we explain the difference between when frustration is worth it and when it isn’t.
When you’re in a situation that can be changed, frustration can be your best friend and can serve as your beacon for change. Once your frustration subsides, it’s time to think about what needs to be changed and how.
If the situation is impossible to change, distract yourself from the thoughts that trigger your emotions until they disappear.
These 5 essential tips will help you deal with frustration positively if you practice them right. In this way , you can benefit from managing one of the most unpleasant emotions while avoiding direct confrontation with it.
