Is Being Different A Need, A Burden Or A Virtue?

Every person is unique. No two people are the same. We all have different ways of feeling, acting, thinking and making decisions. A combination of genetic and environmental factors, your past, your experiences and your context determine your personality. What does being different mean to you? Is it a need, a burden or a virtue?

Being different can be positive or negative, depending on where you are in your life and what stage of development you are in. Despite the fact that you are and always will be completely unique, there are times in life when you try to be as much like other people as possible.

At other times, making yourself stand out is important for normal cognitive development. How do you feel about that right now? Do you think you are different from everyone else? How? Do you like being different? Is being different a need? Is it important to you?

Being different is a human need

Psychologist Margaret Mahler devised a model for the stages of human development. After the symbiotic phase, in which the child cannot yet see itself as separated from its mother, comes the phase of separation and individualization. This stage plays an important role in shaping your personality and helps you see yourself as unique.

During this phase, two processes take place. Divorce is the process by which a child is distinguished from its mother. Individualization is the process by which a child becomes aware of its existence and begins to develop its own individual characteristics.

Rene Spitz noted three organizing principles in a child’s psychology: the smiling response, fear of strangers, and “no.” We’re talking about the “no” here during the famous terrible two phase. As annoying as this constant opposition is, it is an important stage for maturation and development.

This constant negative reaction is caused by the child beginning to identify as different and independent. It is a necessary step for the child to be aware of his individuality. This also happens to a certain extent in adolescents.

For teenagers, being different can be a burden

Adolescence is a stage in which we adapt and become like everyone else. Teens constantly worry about being discriminated against because of differences that are “unacceptable.” Being part of a group is the main motivation of teenagers. As a result, it has a significant impact on how they shape their self-image.

It is interesting, however, that teenagers believe that they are unique. David Elkind called this phenomenon ‘the personal fable’. While they long to fit in and be like everyone else, teens also think that their thoughts and feelings are different from others.

Elkin describes another phenomenon that sometimes has to do with the importance of being different or belonging. He’s talking about an imaginary audience, which is actually a big concern about the image you project onto others and what they think of you. Teenagers tend to think that the people around them are constantly watching them.

This feeling of always being the subject of people’s attention causes some teens, especially those with low self-esteem, to do what they can to not stand out. They try to go unnoticed and not be different as being different is seen as negative and can lead to rejection from peers.

It is not a need or a burden, it is a virtue!

Young people often feel the need to be different, to stand out in a crowd. That is amazing! Sharing that part of your personality that is taking shape is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and others.

That’s because it’s the most sincere and honest part of who you are. It also stimulates creativity and facilitates decision-making.

Being different allows you to appreciate diversity and adapt to it more easily. It makes you flexible and open-minded. By defending your ideas, even if they are different from those of others, you can grow and develop while staying true to your principles. It also helps build your self-esteem and confidence.

Being unique is a gift. That is why it is important to learn to appreciate it. It is one of the greatest virtues a person can have.