Make Your Child An Expert On Emotions

We make all kinds of decisions day in and day out. We take a lot automatically, but sometimes we also get the chance to think carefully about a decision. Unfortunately, very strong emotions can sometimes make us do things that go against our values. To avoid those mistakes, it’s important to become an expert on emotions.

You can give children a real head start in life if you teach them how to manage their emotions from an early age. In this article we tell you more about it.

Emotions motivate you to act. We begin to notice the effect of our emotions during childhood. Yet few children and adults really think about this. However, this makes childhood the best time to lay the right foundations and develop some tools to regulate our emotions.

By promoting this in a child from an early age, his emotions will never get the better of him. Instead, he will be able to use the energy that his emotions generate wisely. He will be able to use this energy to motivate behavior that is consistent with his value system.

The first step to becoming an expert on emotions

The first step is to know the basic emotions. It is important not only to know what emotions are, but also what they are for.

The basic emotions a child needs to know to become an expert on emotions are fear, anger, sadness, joy, curiosity, disgust, and love. For children who are a bit older it can also be good to know what shame means.

Some of these emotions, such as anger, prompt people to hit, insult, or attack others. Emotions like joy, on the other hand, increase the likelihood that a person will be open, energetic, and generous.

second step

The second step you need to complete to become an emotion expert is learning to recognize your emotions. You must be able to recognize these basic emotions in yourself and in others. However, without mastering the previous step, this is an impossible task.

You can’t learn to recognize something if you don’t know what it is. If you know what attitudes and behaviors generate the basic emotions, you will soon be able to recognize them when they arise.

It is therefore essential that children know the emotions they are feeling by name. You can help them with this by saying things like ‘You’re happy, that’s why you find it hard to sit still’. Another example is ‘You want to hit your brother because you are angry’.

Third step

The next step is to legitimize the emotions that the child is feeling. In other words, let the child just “feel” his emotions. Some of the things you can say to help your child do this are “It’s normal to feel this way” or “I understand why it hurts.”

Another example is ‘We all get frustrated when we don’t get what we want’. It’s much more helpful to say things like this than “Don’t cry, it’s not that bad” or “I don’t understand how you can be afraid of that.”

To educate children about emotions, try to put yourself in their shoes. Being empathetic means accepting the emotions of another.

At the same time, you need to teach kids a few alternatives to express their emotions in a desirable way. You need to teach children this so that they don’t cling to the immediate, impulsive actions that trigger their emotions.

The fourth step to becoming an expert on emotions

At this point, a child is ready to learn how to regulate his emotions. You can’t hold back emotions, but you can manage the behaviors that spark the internal dialogue they create. To manage this behavior, you need to know how to distinguish between behavior and emotion.

Emotion is what you feel and behavior is what you do. Feeling anger does not justify the urge to hurt someone else. You have to teach children that between their emotions and actions there is a margin where their conscience can make a decision. Children must learn to strengthen this margin.

Building on the example of anger, you can teach children certain relaxation exercises for this. You can also teach them how to politely correct another person’s behavior so that they don’t hurt them anymore.

Fifth step

Thinking about things is a mental act that makes us human. To become an expert on emotions, children must learn to think. Thinking about the emotions they feel, as well as the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that arouse those emotions is the fifth step.

Helping kids take a step back and think about what’s going on can help them get to know their emotions better. This will also allow them to regulate those feelings more easily.

Sixth step

The sixth step means that children understand that some emotions are simply not appropriate in certain situations. For example, if you got a scholarship but your boyfriend didn’t, it’s not very appropriate to act very merry yourself when your boyfriend tells you he didn’t get the scholarship.

Use your empathy to sense how others are feeling. If your emotions are very different from the other person’s at that moment, you need to adapt your behavior to the situation. It is therefore important to teach children some effective ways to manage their emotions. This is especially true for negative emotions.

The seventh and final step to becoming an expert on emotions

The final step is to establish a story about what happened. This step involves understanding emotions or explaining what just happened.

If a little girl has had a nightmare and wakes up crying and screaming, tell her she just had a bad nightmare. You should also tell her that she was crying because she was scared. She needs to understand that her nightmare doesn’t have to affect her current reality.

It is not easy to make a child an expert on emotions. It is something that takes a lot of time. You also need a good dose of empathy and patience. Still, you should keep in mind that when you teach your children to manage their emotions well, you contribute to a better future for them.

You provide them with the tools to avoid future confrontations and build better interpersonal relationships.