Personal Growth: Don’t Clip My Wings

It is quite possible that you have experienced this feeling several times in your life; the feeling that you can’t move forward, that the people around you won’t allow you to realize your dreams, because they keep clipping your wings or maybe because they chain you, preventing you from escaping their control.

Personal growth requires opportunity and self-confidence coupled with courage and personal willpower. When we talk about this topic, we may think of examples from our life, such as our parents or even our teachers. Examples of powerful persons who often have the habit of clipping our wings.

Many educational models fail to respond to children’s natural curiosity. These models strictly adhere to guidelines that leave no room for spontaneity or creativity. This ultimately leads to all students being taught in the same, standardized way and with a very rigid mindset. As a result, they are subsequently unable to adapt to an in reality very complex world.

However, parents and educators are not the only ones who often limit the personal growth of the little ones among us. In some cases, it is our own partner who holds the scissors. It is then your partner who does not allow you to grow, progress and mature as a person; he/she does not allow much freedom and aspiration.

The obstacles to personal growth

How can we define personal growth? It is a restless feeling within ourselves that prompts us to pursue our goals. We are all brimming with goals and projects, full of aspirations that challenge ourselves to feel capable, useful, and strong.

Sometimes they are not big projects at all that we pursue. It certainly happens often enough that we just want to feel good about ourselves, independent, strong and sure of ourselves.

What are the main obstacles to personal growth? How can we overcome these obstacles? Let’s take a look:

1. Distrust

In this case, you may mistrust others, but of course you may also mistrust yourself and this may even cause you to mistrust your own assets at some point. Sometimes you end up in a kind of vicious circle. For example, think of those overprotective parents who create one obstacle after another to ensure their child adheres to the family unit.

These kinds of parents will do everything in their power to ensure that their child remains dependent on them. In some cases, they will even hinder their child’s job prospects or create walls that prevent their child from finding a partner. They will clip their child’s wings again and again, until at some point they manage to make their child feel like they don’t matter in some areas. This is a very serious risk.

2. Uncertainty

It is curious to see that some people initially lead very dynamic, intense and independent lives and then suddenly, after meeting their romantic partner, their whole personality changes. The control of one of the partners eventually creates dependence, and this dependence eventually turns into fear and insecurity. These are toxic relationships in which any kind of personal growth disappears completely.

3. Loss of Control

The moment we begin to notice that something or someone is clipping our wings and we just allow it at the same time, we lose all control of the situation. Why are we allowing this? Why do we allow others to build walls around us, to hinder our personal growth?

Sometimes this is because of fear  or in some cases because we experience a lot of affection or a toxic form of love that we depend on and don’t want to break.

Also, a lack of willpower can be the culprit, because we have stayed too long in the comfort zone where everything is safe and predictable. Anyway, there are a lot of factors to take into account.

Don’t give other people permission to clip your wings, don’t give anyone else the chance to decide for you or to limit your aspirations: what you feel inside should act as a fuse and switch that causes you to react. Personal growth requires courage and knowledge to know how to find the wind that will guide your boat and push it forward.

Find your own ocean, start your own path and turn your back on the people who want to clip your wings. Remember that anyone who tries to clip your wings will try to convince you that he loves you, that he is doing what is best for you. However, this is not true. Someone who really loves you will never try to impose or harm you. This person will pave the way for you and ensure that you can move forward with confidence.