Postpone Happiness… I Will Be Happy If…

Some people put off being happy until they finally find a better job, have a perfect body, or lose weight. However, if you’ve been dreaming of a perfect next day all your life, you’ll never get there. Delaying happiness is something many people are guilty of.

Do you ever think, “My life will be so much better when I finally find a new job,”  “I can finally have fun when I go on vacation,” or “I’ll spend some time with my loved ones once I pass this test? ” If so, then you fall prey to this common mindset.

Why do people think like this? Why do you convince yourself that everything will be better if you achieve certain goals or buy certain material goods? And why do you postpone well-being and pleasure? Many people say it’s just a way of holding yourself to a high (and strict) standard, while others believe it’s a very effective self-sabotage method.

Putting your luck on hold and believing that the future will bring perfect and magical things is an illusion. It actually blinds you to the falsehood of an ideal tomorrow.

For example, if you think you’ll be happier if you have more money or decide that you won’t go to the beach until you lose weight, you’re only violating the real meaning of the word “happiness.” Let’s take a closer look at these concepts.

Postponing happiness is a mistake that can harm your health

We live in the conditional tense. So many of our thoughts and desires begin with the word ‘if’. If I had more money, everything would be better. If I got a promotion, people would know what I’m really capable of. I would find a partner if I were more attractive… Such thoughts cause unnecessary suffering that affects your well-being.

Psychology defines this kind of outlook and attitude as the deferred happiness syndrome. This term is used to describe someone who is always waiting for concrete or special circumstances in his life.

Yes, this wait is sometimes justified, especially if you invest time and effort to achieve something concrete. For example, deciding to spend more time studying and going out less with your friends because you want to pass an important test.

In such examples, it makes sense to put off certain things because it is for a specific reason. However, if you suffer from delayed happiness syndrome, you have no logical reasons to put things off.

Instead, you make up arguments that work against you and tend to fuel your suffering and discomfort. An example of this is believing that your life will be so much better if you lose some weight or change your physical appearance.

Those who procrastinate and cancel do so because they do not accept the present moment or are not satisfied. They don’t know how to pay attention to or make the most of the here and now, the moment they are in, with all its potential.

Postpone happiness, why do people do that?

It may seem that happiness is something that is hard to pin down. But from a psychological point of view, it is a very simple definition. Happiness is accepting and loving yourself. It’s having a meaningful life with a good social network that supports you and the cognitive resources to deal with difficult situations. That is it. Nothing more nothing less.

So, if you also postpone happiness, it is probably because of concrete problems, such as dissatisfaction with who you are and what you have. You are constantly worried about something you are missing. Or you may have a fear of facing what hurts right now or of changing what you don’t like.

If you delay happiness, you will never achieve it

Clive Hamilton, professor of philosophy at Charles Sturt University in Australia, wrote an article entitled: Carpe diem? The delayed happiness syndrome. According to him, it is society itself that has pushed us to chase this “root” that we will never reach.

We are always running after something elusive. Although we rarely get there, we always long for it. We long for it because we are not happy.

The causes of that unhappiness are our work, the circumstances in which we live and a consumer society that makes us believe that we need certain things to feel good and be happy. So society makes you believe that having a better phone, nice clothes and a fancy house will make your life better.

Another factor is the limited time you have to just ‘be’, find yourself and get in touch with your desires and the people you love. According to Dr. Hamilton should be a little bolder to you and make decisions that make you feel good and live a life more in tune with your preferences and needs.

Stop running and think about tomorrow. Instead, stop and find yourself in the present moment. Postpone happiness, do you do it too?