When Leaving Everything Behind Is (still) The Only Option

Sometimes leaving everything behind is the only option. And that is – in that case – not a cowardly act, nor a matter of giving up. People who dare to pack their things and look to the horizon are very brave. Because eventually you get your fill of having a broken heart again and again, of crying when no one is looking at you. And before the bitter winds of existential misfortunes blow your soul away, you must blow away the past from within , and start over in a sheltered place.

Leaving past things behind does not mean that you must necessarily forget everything you have experienced, that you must deny your own identity, or that you are obliged to sever your (social) ties. No, the requested transformation concerns and includes, above all, yourself, by integrating your past, present and future into one whole, into one harmonious consciousness that keeps itself permanently in balance, instead of spinning around in a seemingly contented way in a vicious circle of pain and suffering. Like a sandcastle in the surf, a miserable life cannot but perish and be swallowed up by the ocean of existence.

We have all experienced this ominous sensation in one form or another, or else we are bound to do so. The feeling that (part of) your usual environment has lost all sense, shine, sparkle, magic or potency, has become unbearably flat and dull and gray. Some people are therefore violently overcome by the desperate need to seek new stimuli, to undertake new things, while others flee to more healing places precisely because of their physical or emotional health, away from the status quo, away from base and house and hearth.

Whatever the underlying and underlying reasons, leaving everything behind is never easy. Besides your baggage, you also bring fear, and uncertainty, with you. And even if your mind urges you to leave, your heart doesn’t feel (yet) capable of actually closing the packed suitcase and really going on the road, pulling the door shut and the key blindly in the door. throwing bushes.

Leaving everything behind is – essentially – your survival instinct

On this website we regularly refer to the fact that the brain often resists change. Because change is risky, and therefore a threat to our individual survival. Yet your emotions, your intuition, your instincts and your reflexive behavior send you non-verbal warning signals under certain circumstances.

Suppose you are going through a period of intense stress, in which the work and private spheres become so demanding that you are literally and figuratively on the verge of collapse. And instead of focusing on alleviating, or dissolving, this subversive pressure, you drift more and more, being washed away again and again by this relentless flood, by the mercilessly crashing waves. Until one day, on the platform or parking lot, you freeze, or block, and your feet – and your mind – suddenly go the other way. And your legs don’t stop until you get to the edge of the city, without knowing how  or why consciously . There, in that unknown void, you will find much-needed peace, tranquility, relaxation and balance.

You simply had to escape, and break free. Your survival instinct took the reins out of your hands in a flash, offering you what you needed most: distance and silence. Remember that although the brain is normally averse to change, it will do anything to survive. This undeniable invitation to leave everything behind points to the absolute necessity of self-care. Never underestimate its importance.

Let’s look at the example of John Tierney, a New York Times reporter , whose book Willpower —describing his own experiences with stress, anxiety, and external pressure—became an all-time bestseller.

He made it clear in this strongly biographical story that if you bind yourself too long and too tightly in a corset of self-control, and force it, you can completely perish. Living in an (internal) climate of oppression is bound to lead to collapse sooner or later. Even your brain will – physiologically – bang its fist on the table, telling you that you either have to change or you will lose everything (including your sanity).

Find the life that is (well) meant, and destined for you

If the life you are living now does not fit your inner puzzle optimally, then leave it. If you are a stranger in your own existence, go out and find yourself again, and really get to know yourself, from the inside. If your reality is full of sharp edges, spread your wings, transcend yourself, and your present circumstances. Your physical and emotional ‘set’ will thank you for it.

Only you can make the decision to leave everything behind. For some people it may be enough to make relatively small, subtle changes of course – to feel better overall. But others, unfortunately, have little to no benefit from such gradual changes, because it does not really alleviate, cure, or solve their problems . They need to take bigger, more drastic, more contrasting steps, to create more distance between the things that once defined them, and the person they (soon) wish to become.

Below we will provide some strategies that are worth reflecting on.

Tips to live your true life (don’t suffer), and grab by the guts

When you leave everything behind, remind yourself why you are doing it, and what purpose you have in mind. As the famous German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, “He who has a ‘why’ can bear any how.” If you want to change, do it with all your heart and soul, so that you can essentially become who you want to be: someone who is happy, who takes matters into his own hands, seizes opportunities and creates, and wholeheartedly agrees with his destiny: amor fati !

To successfully navigate the tumultuous sea of ​​your emotional tides, it is necessary to orient yourself – through self-reflection – to your inner North Star. The most potent answer to the ideal route of your ship , after all, is in the over your own intuition and consciousness.

Leaving everything behind is emphatically not the same as running away (from responsibility). That is why you must communicate very clearly and transparently why you have decided on this radical break . Be confident in (expressing) your authentic desires and needs. Take control of your actions like a true captain.

. Don’t let fear, doubt and nerves hold you back. How? By transforming the underlying energy of these emotions into hope, and trust.

Finally, remember that our main raison d’être is growth. But in order to (or continue to) grow, you must actively seek out those spots where your roots, branches and leaves thrive best, as not all locations produce equally sweet, equally deep red fruits.