Why Do You Lose Control When You Get Angry?

Do you have trouble controlling your anger? Do you tend to say the first thing that comes to mind and then regret it? Are you losing control? Why is this happening? What’s behind the anger that’s so hard to control?

In this article, we’ll analyze the possible causes of why you’re losing control. We’ll tell you how it’s related to poor self-control and low frustration tolerance.

However, these are not the only causes. Beneath all this is also a layer of sadness that we don’t know how to deal with, as well as other possible feelings and emotions.

Before we get into those causes, let’s give you some advice to help you manage that anger healthily, because self-control is a skill you can practice.

When I get angry, I lose control: what’s wrong with me?

When some people get angry, they lose control completely. They feel that the anger completely overwhelms them. But why is this happening? What’s wrong with them? What’s behind this ongoing anger?

To understand this we must first focus on the concept of ‘self-control’. Later, we will also see other factors that lead to loss of self-control, conditions that increase the likelihood that you will become impulsive.

The importance of self-control

Self-control is defined as the ability to control one’s emotions, behaviors, thoughts, and desires. It also includes the ability to control one’s own body.

In some ways, self-control is part of our emotional intelligence, which is why it’s so important to work on it with children from an early age. Through self-control one can learn to deal with anger and other basic emotions.

As we can see, self-control is the ability to not only manage and control how you behave, but also how you think and react to emotions.

Very often emotions can overwhelm you, but this does not mean that you should allow yourself to lose control of the situation. Self-control, like many other skills, is something you can train and improve with time, perseverance and effort.

How do you work on your self-control?

Self-control allows you to control moments of anger or anger when you start yelling or engage in behavior you don’t really want. But how do you put it into practice? Here are some key ideas that can help you:

• First, determine exactly what you want to keep under control. Is it anger? anger? Frustration?

• Then examine the causes of your anger and anger. Is it really anger or are you masking other emotions, such as sadness?
• Be on the lookout for that point where you can’t go back. This is the moment when you know that you are losing your composure, control and ‘exploding’. Identify it and look for another way to stop it in time.
• Practice your breathing. Just when you identify that point where you can’t go back, do some breathing exercises. Close your eyes, place your hand on your stomach and feel the air enter and exit your body.
• Look for behavior other than your anger to avoid being controlled by it. These could be the breathing exercises we already mentioned, or other actions you could take. For example, you could play some music, take a relaxing bath, paint or draw, write down your feelings, or go for a walk.

Why am I behaving like this?

We’ve seen some ideas for working on self-control and dealing with anger in healthy ways. But as we apply these techniques, it is also essential to understand what is happening to you. Why do you act like this when you get angry?

If you have poor self-control, you will start acting in this way, you will lose your composure and control of the situation, and you will be consumed with anger.

On the other hand, low frustration tolerance may also be behind this behavior. Being an impulsive and temperamental person can also contribute to these types of situations.

The good news is that you can work on all of these conditions with therapy. If you dig deeper into why this “loss of control” occurs when you get angry, you can look for strategies to increase your self-control. This also improves your well-being.

Are you losing control? The wound behind the anger

Sometimes there is a wound behind your anger and anger. A certain situation may open the wound, or someone may have inadvertently touched a nerve. Anger, rage, and anger are emotions that often obscure other emotions, such as sadness or disappointment.

Not knowing how to face or deal with this sadness (or accept it), we resort to something more visceral: anger. We do this to try to distract ourselves from these uncomfortable feelings.

What happens if you don’t manage your anger properly? You explode. So if you often lose control and say things you later regret, we encourage you to seek help.

When you understand your own emotions and understand why you have them, you get to know yourself better. Despite your imperfections, you will improve with each passing day. Learn to live with it, use it to improve yourself and don’t try to ignore it.